The Hypocrites I know

I have always maintained that the problems of Nigeria go way beyond the Presidency, but Buharists no let us hear word. So, today, i shall throw caution to the wind and share with you a typical class scenario by these same people that want change. I will be hunted for this, but I just cannot care less as I hope you will see classic similarities between this commonplace scenario and Nigeria.

At the end of every lecture is the signology section, usually. It operates on the FIFO (first in, first out) principle, when the hypocrites are contained. But of course, this is Nigeria: Rather than submit on the pile they submit beneath it! So that when the pile is flipped for signing, FIFO becomes LIFO (last in, first out). Yes, even among the supposed intelligentsia of my generation.

One would think it shouldn’t take much common sense to understand that if you are in a hurry, then you must submit your booklet early; not lobby, or smile at the lecturer to get signed before us unsmiling folks. But then, it does take much commonsense, apparently. And as SLS observed, it doesn’t take much sense to cheat. Or to do whatever you don’t want Ayk to say you do!

But it gets worse. When you stand so much for order and equity, you get targeted: your booklet moves from first to middle, if it does not vanish outrightly! Not only are latecomers signed ahead of you, even people that submitted just after you get signed way before you. Yes, that is how integrity is appraised even in a class of a hundred and fifty.

It is bad enough that the person overseeing the submission doesn’t care, it is bad that the signatory cannot be bothered, even by ghosts, it is worse that the poor fellow agitating for what is right is targeted. And when he writes about them, he is the villain. Again, it takes much introspection, sense, to note that shameless people clamour to change a country when they have not even changed themselves.

I will not be a part of a society that collapses on itself because the truth is forbidden; I’d rather leave. Charity does begin at home. I can imagine the vituperations i will get on this piece tomorrow, and for a long time to come, yet I am comforted in the knowledge that whoever stands in the way of truth ought not be acknowledged, or reckoned with. They keep beaming yèyénátù smiles at lecturers, small time now they will say they are harassed, àbí na molested. So much for MDG3: gender equality!

And when the head is rotten, there’s so little a finger can do. Una say “keep quiet”, everyone does except the friends of power, then you go right ahead and listen to them. Una say “sit down”, everyone sits except the friends of power, and they get signed anyway, right there and then. Una say “nobody joins my class from now on”, nobody does, until…

Na so Naija go take beta, àbí? SMH…

GMB, Change!

Ení bá máa dá’so fún’ni, t’orùn è làá ‘kóó wò! Whoever wants to sew clothes for one must have his attire appraised first. They want me to vote for Change, yet all I see them do is rot…

The sole problem with Nigeria is the phenomenon my people call, Aríje-nì’di-‘bàjé: those that profit from chaos. You think Jona has done woefully, yet some people have contributed immensely to the perpetuation of his woes. I am told someone gave 5 Billion naira. Luckily, such people are Nigerians, not aliens. Even the hypocrites I know are known to every one of us in class!

Will Buhari be able to prosecute Atiku, Babangida, Tinubu, Saraki, Obj, Amaechi, et al, when he is President? Will someone like SLS not be targeted when he blows the whistle on Buhari? Will Buhari damn the bad-belle as I shall now do?:

Anyone that targets Ayk for his stand on truth and integrity and orderliness, àbegì, live and let live o; otherwise:

Iwájú n’ìgbín nwo ire è; the snail watches his blessings from afar (he is never able to catch up), simply because,

Owó t’ògèdè bá gbé, ara è ló fií nà; whatever hand, branch, the banana (or plantain) raises, it beats itself with.


Contunu to target his booklet, ehn, just contunu…

Ayokunle Adeleye

Ayokunle is a doctor, a writer at heart, his opinions are strong and he wants a better society. Follow him on twitter @adelayok